Rebuild the Grit You Once Had And Use It to Design Your Third Act
Resilience Isn’t Lost. You Just Forgot Where to Look.
We often think of resilience as something we need to build from scratch, as if it's a skill we've never had.
But what if resilience isn’t missing, just forgotten?
As children, we faced challenges constantly. School, friendships, failure, rejection. None of it was easy, yet we persisted.
Quitting was rarely an option. We studied for exams, showed up to class, faced bullies, learned difficult skills, and kept going.
But as adults, when we actually have the experience and wisdom to handle difficulties better, we often give up too soon.
Why? And more importantly, how do we tap back into that resilience to design a stronger, more purposeful Third Act?
Resilience Isn’t Gone - It’s Just Unused
Psychologist Angela Duckworth, author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, defines grit as a combination of passion and perseverance for very long term goals. Her research shows that talent alone doesn’t predict success, grit does.
As children, we didn’t realise we were building grit because we had no other choice. School, exams, friendships, first jobs. We faced hardship, endured setbacks, and moved forward anyway.
But as adults, we have the option to quit. We can procrastinate, delay, or abandon goals entirely.
Over time, that makes us believe we lack resilience, when in reality, we’ve simply stopped using it.
The Illusion of the “Easier Past”
We like to believe childhood was simpler. But research on memory and nostalgia (Wildschut et al., 2006) shows that we filter out the struggles and remember the highlights.
Think back:
Learning to read and write? Frustrating.
Passing maths exams? Stressful.
Navigating friendships and social pressure? Exhausting.
But you did the hard things anyway. That same resilience still exists within you.
You just need to access it again.
4 Ways to Rebuild Your Resilience and Strengthen Your Third Act
1. Reframe Your Past Struggles as Proof of Strength
Instead of seeing childhood challenges as “normal,” view them as evidence of your resilience. Consider:
Exams you studied for, even when you didn’t want to.
Social setbacks you navigated and overcame.
Skills you learned despite frustration (sports, music, languages).
Action step: List three challenges you overcame in your early life. What strategies did you use then? How can you apply those now?
2. Stop Asking “Can I Handle This?” and Start Asking “Haven’t I Handled Worse?”
When faced with difficulty, we often hesitate. We question whether we’re capable.
But resilience isn’t about never struggling. It’s about struggling and continuing anyway.
Reframe your self-talk:
Instead of Can I do this?, ask When have I done something even harder?
Instead of What if I fail?, think What if I succeed because I kept going?
Instead of I’m too old for this, reflect What if my experience makes this easier?
3. Make Commitment Non-Negotiable
Children don’t get to decide if they go to school. It’s mandatory. What if you treated your personal growth the same way?
Instead of I’ll try to exercise, how about Exercise is as non-negotiable as brushing my teeth.
Instead of I want to improve my health, say My health is a priority, no matter what.
Instead of I’ll see if I have time, try I make time for what matters.
Action step: Identify one area in your life where you often quit. How can you remove the option to give up?
4. Rebuild the Structure That Kept You Moving Forward
As children, we had built-in systems: school schedules, deadlines, external accountability.
Adulthood lacks these guardrails, not entirely, but enough so that perseverance is much harder.
To recreate structure:
Set clear goals with deadlines.
Find accountability through mentors, groups, or partners. Even pets! You can’t skip a dog walk just because it’s raining.
Create routines that eliminate decision fatigue. The fewer choices you give yourself, the easier it is to stay consistent.
Action step: Set one small, measurable goal this week. Tell someone about it for accountability.
Your Third Act Deserves the Strongest Version of You
You don’t need to build resilience from scratch. You’ve already done the hard things before. Now, it’s time to intentionally use that strength to design a future you’ll love.
The question is no longer Can you do this? The question is Are you ready to reclaim the resilience you already have?
Ready to Reignite Your Resilience?
Your Third Act should be designed with grit, strength, purpose, and confidence.
In my 90-minute 1:1 coaching session, we’ll uncover the untapped resilience you already have and turn it into a real, structured plan for your next chapter.
No more second-guessing. No more waiting.
Book your session now and start proving to yourself what you’re truly capable of.