Can’t Remember Names? Science Says It’s No Big Deal
The Truth About Midlife Memory Lapses (And What to Do About Them)
Forgetting names is not a sign of senility. Here’s why:
Forgetting the name of a famous person is frustrating. You know their face, you remember the movie they starred in, but their name? Gone. It’s at the tip of your tongue, yet just out of reach. When I was younger, I’d shrug it off.
But now? Now, if I blank on a name like Paul Newman while watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, a little voice in my head panics: That’s it. I’m losing it. I’m going senile.
Sound familiar?
With all the noise around perimenopause, brain fog, and cognitive decline, it’s easy to assume that every forgotten word or misplaced thought is a sign of something bigger. But here’s the good news: occasional lapses like these are completely normal.
The science behind forgetting names
The brain processes and retrieves information through multiple networks. When we forget a name, it’s usually because:
The name isn’t reinforced frequently enough in our memory. I don’t think about Paul Newman on a regular basis …
We recall faces differently from words. They are stored in separate parts of the brain.
Stress or distractions interfere with retrieval.
Drawing a blank on a name isn’t the same as not recognising a face. Research shows that both younger and older adults experience tip-of-the-tongue moments. The difference? Older adults might have them more often, but this isn’t necessarily linked to cognitive decline (AARP, 2024)1.
Context matters: stress and memory gaps
Memory lapses can become more noticeable during periods of stress, grief, or exhaustion. When my dad passed away, I spent months in a caregiving whirlwind. The experience was emotionally draining, and my memory took a serious hit. Even now, three years later, I struggle to piece together the exact timeline of those months. It all feels like a blur even though I was there non-stop and experienced every moment deeply and was actively interacting with my dad day in, day out.
Studies have shown that chronic stress impacts the hippocampus, the brain’s memory centre.
And this isn’t unusual. Studies have shown that chronic stress impacts the hippocampus, the brain’s memory centre. When under stress, our brain prioritises survival mechanisms over details like “Who starred in The Goonies?” This doesn’t mean our memory is failing, it means it’s temporarily overwhelmed.
What you can do: tips to improve name recall and memory
While occasional lapses are normal, we can strengthen recall with a few practical techniques:
1. Use association tricks
Link new names to something familiar. If you meet someone named Paul, think of Paul Newman. If you can’t remember Paul Newman, associate him with Butch Cassidy or his blue eyes. The brain loves connections.
2. Repeat and reinforce
When learning a new name, repeat it aloud: “Nice to meet you, Sarah.” Use it a few times in conversation, if possible. This strengthens the neural pathways associated with the name.
3. Practice visualisation
Picture the name written down or imagine it as part of a movie title. For example, if you’re struggling to recall Robert Redford, visualise a red Ford car. It may sound silly, but it works.
4. Engage in word retrieval exercises
Brain-training exercises, like trying to recall names before looking them up, can improve memory retrieval. Apps like Lumosity and crossword puzzles also help keep recall mechanisms sharp.
5. Reduce stress and sleep well
Sleep is essential for memory consolidation. A study from Johns Hopkins Medicine2 confirms that poor sleep leads to more frequent memory lapses. Aim for 7+ hours per night, and practice mindfulness or breathing exercises to manage stress.
6. Use spaced repetition
This learning technique, often used for language acquisition, works for names too. Instead of trying to recall a name immediately, wait an hour, then a day, then a week. Each time you successfully retrieve it, the memory strengthens.
7. Embrace the “memory pause”
Sometimes, we panic when we forget a word, making recall even harder. Instead, relax. The name will often come to you minutes or hours later when you stop forcing it.
Final thoughts: forgetfulness isn’t failure
Our brains aren’t failing us just because we forget a name. Context matters. Stress, sleep, and attention all play a role in memory retrieval. The next time you blank on a name, don’t panic and laugh it off, try a retrieval trick, and give your brain a moment. It’s doing just fine.
Wondering how your memory stacks up? Take my free brain health assessment and get insights into your cognitive well-being today!
References:
AARP (2024). [Why Do We Forget Names?](https://www.aarp.org/health/brain-health/info-2024/why-do-we-forget-names.htm)
Johns Hopkins Medicine. [Memory Lapse or Dementia?](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/memory-lapse-or-dementia-5-clues-to-help-tell-the-difference)