A few years ago, when I was still working in banking, I started noticing something troubling about how my older colleagues were treated. And how they behaved.
Two women, just a few years older than me, were subtly being edged out of meaningful tasks. No one asked for their input on complex projects. Conversations with them had an air of condescension, as if people assumed they were past their peak.
But what disturbed me even more was how they saw themselves.
They kept apologising for forgetting things, sometimes dismissed their own contributions, and joked about “senior moments.” Worse, I saw patterns in their behaviour that made me wonder: was their cognitive decline real and inevitable, or was it a product of the choices they made every day?1
Both of them lived in a constant state of stress2:
Always busy but rarely productive
Perpetually dieting but never feeling good about themselves
Overextending for family members while complaining about it, a lot
They were both going through perimenopause/menopause3 and today, we know that:
Oestrogen contributes to normal cognitive function
Its decline during perimenopause can lead to physical symptoms, mood changes, and mild cognitive effects
These cognitive changes may include minor memory issues and slowed mental processing that resemble Mild Cognitive Impairment but not dementia
Scientific literature shows disagreement about perimenopause-related cognitive decline but there's insufficient evidence to rule it out completely4
They engaged in cheap dopamine activities:
Mindlessly scrolling
Texting throughout the day
Watching mediocre TV at night, every night
Consuming gossip online instead of ideas
And while I don’t believe for a second that brain fog or memory lapses are just a lifestyle issue, I do believe that the way we engage with our minds has a massive impact on our cognitive health.
I saw two capable women shrink into the very stereotype society had written for them. And I refused to follow the same path.
Your Brain Is Asking for Your Attention
We’ve been conditioned to accept cognitive decline as a natural part of midlife. Brain fog, forgetfulness, mental fatigue, these are presented as unavoidable signs of ageing, particularly for women.
But here’s the truth: your brain isn’t failing you. It’s responding to the inputs you give it.
Yes, hormonal shifts impact cognition. Yes, midlife stress is real. But what most people miss is that brain function is highly modifiable. You don’t have to accept decline as your future.
You can train your brain to be:
sharper
more resilient
more adaptable
Mindset Shapes Behaviour
How often do you misplace your keys and immediately think, Not again, I’m really losing it?
Now, imagine a man doing the same thing. More often than not, his response would be: I was distracted. Then he’ll just move on.
If you believe your brain is naturally declining, you’re less likely to take proactive steps to sharpen it.
See the difference?
Women are taught to internalise forgetfulness as personal failure, while men attribute it to external factors. The result? Women assume decline is inevitable. Men assume they just need to refocus.
This matters, because mindset shapes behaviour.
If you believe your brain is naturally declining, you’re less likely to take proactive steps to sharpen it.
But if you see brain function as trainable, you’re far more likely to engage in habits that boost your cognitive health.
Your 4-Step Midlife Brain Reboot
If you want to think sharper and live stronger, start here:
1. Stop labelling yourself as forgetful and start training your brain
Instead of saying, I’m having a senior moment, say, I was focused on something else.
Replace passive mental habits (like endless scrolling) with active engagement like reading, learning, or problem-solving.
Challenge negative self-talk. Every time you criticise your memory, ask yourself: Would I speak to a friend this way?
2. Stop accepting brain fog as normal
Brain fog isn’t a sign of ageing, it’s often a sign of nutrient depletion, stress overload, or poor sleep.
Ask yourself: What’s missing? More rest? More movement? Less stress? Your brain needs the right fuel to function.
3. Engage in cognitive training, not just passive learning
Learning a new language, playing a strategy-based game, or solving complex problems builds new neural pathways.
Reading about brain health isn’t enough, you need to apply what you learn.
Think of your brain like a muscle: it strengthens through challenge, not just consumption.
4. Check your brain health and take charge
If you’ve noticed changes in focus, memory, or mental energy, don’t wait for a crisis.
I’ve created a free brain health assessment that will help you pinpoint the areas that need attention and give you practical steps to optimise your cognitive function.
The Bottom Line
Your brain isn’t in decline. It’s waiting for you to take the lead.
Cognitive strength isn’t something that necessarily fades with age, it’s something you can actively build and maintain.
The question isn’t whether you can sharpen your mind. It’s whether you’ll choose to.
Take the first step today.
Women’s cognitive decline begins earlier than previously believed, UCLA Health, 2017.
‘Stressors’ In Middle Age Linked To Cognitive Decline In Older Women, Johns Hopkins Medicine, 2019
Menopause and cognitive impairment: A narrative review of current knowledge, World Journal of Psychiatry, 2021.
Dementia Insights: Cognitive Consequences of Perimenopause, Practical Neurology, 2019.